There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
