apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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