you guys were way drunker than both of me
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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