started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
