I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
