hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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