Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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