they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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