Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just saw a hot homeless man
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
