just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
