every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
