Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I would fuck him just for his dog
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
