Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize