Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
