I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
