he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
