Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
