4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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