I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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