I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
