Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
can u get pink eye on your cock?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
i out mim tonsoeep
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