i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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