I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
