In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
