I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
