So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
