i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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