I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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