A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
