whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
