just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
