Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
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To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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