My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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