hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
All I want is dick and wine.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
