What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
