All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
