Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
