Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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