My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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