mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
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I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
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I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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