I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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