oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
