wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Randomize
