But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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