I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
