Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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