i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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