He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
