Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
