you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
