Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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