My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize