Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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