We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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