Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
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When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
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He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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