idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she peed on how many people?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
COCAINE IS GR8
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
