On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It's just like the Real World with babies
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize