Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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