You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
