I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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