theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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