I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
false alarm. still invincible.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
