my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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