Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
